Why Do So Many Teens Get Involved in Boy-Girl Relationships? (Part 1)

My friend came up to me once and said, "Hey man!! You know what?? I just met this girl, and I love her so much!! I wanna get with her!!" I didn't say anything out loud. But inside I was thinking, "Dude, that's not love. You can't truly love someone if you don't know the real person inside him/her".

I find this happening quite a lot. It disturbs me in a way. I simply find it sad that so many people, especially teens, don't understand about what love truly is. They end up getting involved into something they think they know, but they don't. So it very often ends in painful break-ups and torturing relationships. Sounds familiar??

So let's start from the very beginning - Why do teens get involved in relationships? For what reasons to they want to 'get together'? What are some of their intentions and purposes?

There are many reasons. Let's list them out in a categorized way.

1. They just want to feel loved and accepted by someone.
2. They are looking for recognition among their friends.
3. They just want to have sex.
4. They want to satisfy their desire to get with the person they 'like' or have a crush on.
5. They want to try it out and see for themselves how one is like.
6. They're lonely and want someone to be with.
7. They miss their past relationship and want to taste it again. Like a 'bounce back' or something to do with their ex.
8. They want to 'dig' their BF/GF.
9. They are looking for a long-term commitment. But not marriage. 
10. They have a grotesque personal reason.
    
11. They hope that the person would be a suitable person to spend the rest of their lives with.

Let's just talk about Number 1 - They just want to feel loved and accepted by someone. This is a common reason. Usually, when teens get into a relationship for this reason, it is because they haven't felt much love and acceptance from their parents and family.

Words like 'You're good for Nothing', 'You're useless', 'You never get anything right', and many similar downgrading words are a common cause of this. I think it's understood that not only verbal abuse, but also physical abuse, etc. are causes too. Broken families are major victims of this lack of love. Because of this lack of love, the desire in every human to be loved and accepted is not met. And so, teens would look for another source to get it. Their most popular and common source? Getting a BF/GF.

I would strongly discourage someone from getting in a relationship because of this reason. The reason is because in many cases, the relationship would end in a painful way. And he/she would not get their need met. It brings them back to the same problem - the Lack of Acceptance and Love.

What he/she needs to do instead is first accept themselves for who they are inside. Changes can be made, but at the end of the day, he/she must accept themselves. If they don't, they would be always looking for sources to quench their desire.

*This is my personal advice and has worked. Give it a try, you never know ;) *

"To Experience True Love, One Must First Learn to Love Himself"

Well, that's about all I have to say about the first one. I'll continue on the others in a few days. It's 1:30am where I am. As usual, please feel free to share your thoughts and experience. :D

Take care,

~daN~