Why Do So Many Teens Get Involved in Boy-Girl Relationships? (Part 2)

So, we looked at the first reason of why so many teenagers get involved in BGRs. Let's now take a look at the next one. - They are looking for recognition among their friends.

There's a common sentence that we heard these days, "Hey man! You should meet my girlfriend. She's so hot!" or "She has a great personality!" or "She's amazing!" etc. What do all these phrases try to say? Showing off! Obviously. The reason - they are looking for recognition among their friends -  is largely about showing off their BF/GF to their friends to gain recognition and approval.

This reason relates more to guys (although there are some girls as well). Why? Well, simply because of a man's ego. See, the one thing that almost ALL guys share in common (besides their bodies, so don't get any ideas) is that we have a BIG ego. This means that we are greatly influenced by what we want our friends to see us as. Their big ego is also the reason that very few guys would ever admit that they care about what people think about them (get it?). This ego causes many problems in their relationships. But that's another story for another day. (Some time, I'll write about man's ego and it's effect on relationships)

When guys start talking about their girlfriends and all that, single guys would always get picked on in the end. Even the ones with the 'not so good looking' girlfriends would get off easier than the single guys. Some guys would just shake it off and just not even remember the conversation. However, the rest would go home wanting to get a girlfriend, mainly because they just want to show they friends that they are capable of getting one.

In the girl's case, if they never had a boyfriend before, their friends might say that they're not wanted by guys. Some of them would feel that they need to prove their friends wrong. So they go ahead and get one.

When teens get involved in boy-girl relationships because of this reason, they're in only for the short-term. As in, just to prove themselves to their friends and then it's over. Relationships that were formed because of this reason usually end within the span of a few months. If they last longer, they'll be under stress and strain, unless both parties found a new reason for their relationship, i.e. long-term. So if you're evaluating your relationship right now, and that was the reason that you got into the relationship, it's not good enough and you have to find a better one to make it last.

However, what is the main cause of why they want to get recognition among their friends? Answer - Low Self-esteem. Will proving themselves to their friends in this area solve it? No. Because of their low self-esteem, many other problems will arise in the future, not just in their love life, but also in the working life and later, family life. What one needs to do is raise their self-esteem. He/she needs to know that he/she doesn't need to prove anything to their friends and their good enough. When they know this, they would be confident enough to know that 'what other people think about them doesn't matter as much as what they know about themselves'.

"Love yourself before you love others. Love comes from within, and if you don't know how to love yourself, how can you show love to another?"

take care,

~daN~

ps: Go ahead and share your thoughts and experiences.